A man is dying of cancer.......
His son asked him,
“Dad, why do you keep telling people you're dying of AIDS?”
Answer: ”So when I'm dead no one will dare touch your mom...."
What’s the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant
Chinese Adam and Eve:
If Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would still be in paradise because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake!