Yuki有話要說:
歡迎大家轉載或引用我的文章,但請務必註明文章來源喔!謝謝!

這篇文章是之前本來要刊登在聯合報上的專欄,不過之後又先暫停這個計畫了。

快到指考了,寫作總是一個很難的部份,尤其動詞是大家最容易犯的錯誤。

參考看看囉。

 

題目:假設有一天你作夢時,夢見了一隻幼象,你會有何反應?請描述這個夢境及之後的發展。

(因篇幅限制,我只檢討學生作文的第一段)

 

學生文章

Baby Elephant

    1Someday I bore in the home. 2I was decided took a nap deleted the time. 3I was dreamed a baby elephant stanted in my kitchen. 4It was thirsty to drunk water. 5This is too absurd. 6Why was a baby elephant in my kitchen? 7Suddenly, it confront to me. 8It say, “I was took a message gave you.” 9I was not understood who was gave a baby elephant send a message? 10It continued say, “I was an angel’s pet. 11I will take you visited to the heaven because you always gave a sit for older.”…

 

1. 本文大意:

    這篇文章在描述夢境裡出現了一頭小象,它引領作者到天堂一遊,當作是作者善行的報償。

 

2. 英文句子中的動詞:

    在英文的句子當中,最重要的就是 正確地使用動詞。寫作時應秉持一個原則-一個句子只能有一個動詞,句子中若有第二個動詞出現時,就要作動詞的變化。然而句子中第二個動詞的變化常常是依據前面的第一個動詞來做不同的型態轉變,例如 ”sb. spends (time) doing sth.” (某人花時間做某事),”sb. is determined to do sth.” (某人決定要做某事)。所以同學們在學習英文的動詞時,要多多注意此動詞與其他動詞的搭配用法。

    大致上來說,句子中動詞型態的改變仍然有跡可循,依據這篇學生的文章來看,其句子裡的動詞應做以下的改善:

(1) 動詞的正確時態

本篇文章是敘述過去的一次夢境,除了引述他人當時說話的字詞之外,整篇應以過去式動詞為主要時態。

 

(2) 辨識be動詞與一般動詞的使用時機

be動詞與一般動詞會同時出現只有兩種情形:

(i) 用來表達現在進行式,形式為 ”be + V-ing”。例: He is reading a good book.

(ii) 用來表達被動語態,形式為 be + V-p.p.”。例: The thief was arrested by the brave guard.

然而,我們在一開始學習英文時,最強調的就是be動詞,所以在英文寫作中,常會看到同學過度使用”be動詞。而這篇文章的許多句子(第2,3,8,9句)是以一般動詞為主要的動詞,be動詞應刪除。

 

(3) 句子中第二個動詞的變化

句子中若有第二個動詞出現時,可以作以下的動詞的變化:

(i) 將動詞轉化成“to + VR”型態,表示即將要做的事目的

例如在第2句中,作者想表達的是我決定要睡個午覺來殺時間決定去做某事:decide to do sth.”,而睡午覺的目的是殺時間,所以本句應改為

I decided to take a nap to kill time.

其他用來表目的用法也可應用在第8,9,10,11句。

8句- I am here to bring you a message.

9句- … who sent a baby elephant to deliver a message?

10句- It continued to say

11句- I will take you to visit heaven

(ii) 將動詞轉化成“V-ing”型態,用來修飾前面的名詞(主動型態)

例如在第3句中,作者想表達的是我夢到一隻小象站在我家的廚房裡。第二個動詞站在我家廚房裡是用來修飾前面的小象,所以本句應改為

I dreamed of a baby elephant standing in my kitchen.

(iii) 將動詞轉化成“V-p.p.”型態,用來修飾前面的名詞(被動型態)

例如 There were six passengers injured in this accident. (在這次的車禍中有六個人受傷),其中”injured”就是以被動的型態來修飾前面的名詞。

 

3. 結語

    本單元探討的是英文句子中的動詞型態變化。建議同學在寫完文章之後,可以自行檢視每一個句子必須只能有一個動詞(當然你也可以用連接詞,如andbut等來連接第二個動詞),並應用上述的原則來更改句子中的第二個動詞,就可以減少文法的錯誤並清楚傳達文意。

 

改寫過的文章

    1One day, I was bored at home. 2I decided to take a nap to kill time. 3I dreamed of a baby elephant standing in my kitchen. 4It was thirsty and wanted to drink water. 5This was too absurd. 6Why was there a baby elephant in my kitchen? 7Suddenly, it came face to face with me. 8It said, “I am here to bring you a message.” 9I did not understand who sent a baby elephant to deliver a message. 10It continued to say, “I am an angel’s pet. 11I will take you to visit heaven because you always yield your seat to the elderly.”…

 

 

 

 

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  • 路人甲
  • one day , i am bored at home ... i decide to take a nap for killing my time .
    i am dreaming about a baby elephant standing in my kitchen while i am sleeping .
    it wants to drink water cause it is thirsty .it is so absurd .
    why does the baby elephant stay in my kitchen ?
    it comes to the front of my face suddenly. it says "i got a message for you." .
    i do not understand who asked the baby to delivery the message .
    it continues to say "i am a pet of an angle .
    i will take you to visit the heaven because you alwasy gave a sit for older."
  • 路人乙
  • 太現慕現在的小孩了…想當年想學都要靠苦讀…
  • yeachings
  • native-speaker 真的會用 kill time嗎??