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本文節錄自:大學入學考試中心 選才通訊第142期 學測與指考英文作文評分樣例 第一處 游春琪彙整

說明: 1. 依提示在「答案卷」上寫一篇英文作文。
    2. 文長至少120個單詞。

提示:請以"Travel Is The Best Teacher"為主題,寫一篇至少120個字的英文作文。第一段針對文章主題,說明旅行的優點,並在第二段舉自己在國內或國外的旅行經驗,以印證第一段的說明。

樣例

指考編號1:特優-19

Travel Is The Best Teacher

I´ve been to many countries before, and I enjoy my trip very much every time. To me, travel is the best teacher. By traveling, I can always broaden my mind and open my eyes to the things about which I had no idea before; I could also see the things which appeared only in the textbook before and that´s no doubt a wonderful experience.

Last summer, I went to Malaysia with a foundation, I used to consider it to be a poor country, but I was totally shocked at how prosperous it is! So many tall buildings and well-organized communities were right before my eyes! We also had some interaction with the local students. I found their learning attitude very active, which was very different from that of the Taiwanese students.

After my trip to Malaysia, I realized that many countries in Asia are prospering, while Taiwan seems to be going backward. I also remind myself that we should never look down on others, and we should equip ourselves with knowledge and unique perspectives, so that we may be able to be outstanding rather than being overwhelmed by the others. We should be more active in our learning and try to set up our goals.

If I hadn´t been to Malaysia, I wouldn´t have gained so many insights in these things. To me, travel is truly the best teacher.

說 明:主題清楚、具體,內容豐富;重點分明、組織完整且連貫。文句結構變化豐富,幾無文法錯誤(稍有時態不一致的錯誤,例第二對的第一句Last summer...foundation後的逗號應為句號。);用字得宜(但第一段第三句中的broaden my mind應為broaden my horizons)。

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指考編號2::優-17

When you saw the romantic EiffelTower in the movies, or watched the Great Wall of China on TV, have you ever imagined that you could admire such specific constructions on the sense some day? The advantages of traveling is a lot. First, traveling can make us open our eyes, we can see the senery not through the media, but by ourselves. How wonderful that you can appreciate breathtaking senses just in front of them! Second, with the advanced education, we have known a wide variety of knowledges about many countries. Such as history, climate and even customs, but if we never been the places, it is no use to get so many informations.

During the winter vacation this year, I took a trip to Sigapore with my family. This was my first time to go abroad. In those four days, I learned a lot about this lively country, including saw the famous Merlion, visited the Indian temple ... etc. When the guide gave some informations for us at some spots, I could merge them in to the geography class easily, even could answer the questions from the guide. I was proud of that I could use the knowledge in books to the real life!

However, there is a great deal of advantages about traveling, so I sincerely recommend that you should take a travel someday!

說明:主題清楚。組織完整,重點尚分明。文法句構錯誤稍多。但用字、拼字偶有錯誤。

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指考編號3:可-13

Travel Is The Best Teacher

Many people like to read books because we can learn a lot of information from it. However, sometimes it´s not enough. For example, when the author described how spectacular the view is, we can´t feel how it is, since we fail to experience it personally. At this moment, all we have to do is go traveling. Only traveling can solve our confusion and satisfy our curious heart. When we go traveling, we can extend our sight, know things that we never know and even learn some lesson from it.

I remember that one time I took a trip to mainland china with my family. We paid a visit to WestLake. The scenery I saw really breathtaking. I liked the lake when I was a child. But I didn´t know how big it was! I was so excited that I ran aroud the lake. The astonishing view was not a book could give me. Suddenly, I saw a person throw a gabage to the lake. How could he do that! It actually broke the impression I used have on the Chinese people. Maybe it was a lesson for me.

說明:主題清楚,但部分相關敘述發展不完整,行文不甚流暢,未能連貫發展。文法及拼字錯誤,已影響部分文意之表達。

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指考編號4:可-11

Travel is the best teacher, there are three reasons why I consider it. First, we can see anything what we have never seen by traveling around the world. Second, we can realize how different the culture is between us. Last but not least, we can learn a lot of knowledge by ourselies which it have never appeared from the book.

For example, I have gone to the U.S six years ago. I have seen a lot of insterting things in the U.S. The culture is very different from us. The travel not only make me grow a great deal of knowledge but also let me had a good time there. Because of the travel, I can really see anything what I have never read from the book. In my opinion, I think travel is the best teacher of me.

說明:有主題,但部分相關敘述發展不全。有佈局,但未連貫發展。文法、拼字、用字有不少錯誤,且影響部分文意表達。

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11

指考編號5:差-8

Travel Is The Best Teacher

We have many travel expiences in our life, like graduate travel, camp on the mountain, visit museams….etc.Every travel have little or much knowledge in it.Even you think that you just play in traveling, in fact, you learn more about life which you can´t learn in common life.

I have ever gone to Japan once time.I learned many things in the travel.That was my first time to take the plane.I learned what I can do and what I can´t do on the plane.When we got Japan, I found first thing which is different from Taiwan is that their cars and people drive or walk on left.It shocked me because I think that worldwilde.

說明:內容雖提及與主題相關之事物,但未能就主題充分發揮。重點發展不全,第二段結尾不明顯。文法、用字、拼字錯誤多,明顯影響文意之表達。

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8

指考編號6:差-5

Travel is The Best Teacher

Travel is very nice.It can help us understand everywhere culture, and to meets different people.And travel also can help us to knew everything.

Have some land is we study is our book.However, somewhere is we can go to travel.We can knew differen culture, people, and life.For example, we go to travel in Japan.We can meets people become friends and chat have something is we not.

I very like to travel.I´m hope I can go to travel every country.

說明:內容太少,細節描述凌亂。全文發展,幾無組織可言。文法、用字、拼字錯誤多,嚴重影響文意表達。字數不足,另扣一分。

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 指考編號7:劣-4

Travel is the best teacher

Travel is the best teacher for me.First, travel can learn about a contry´s culture.For example, Middle East people don´t eat pig and Westness eat sweet petato.The second, travel can realize yourself and less pressureThe last one, travel can make friend with foriend.When you come home foriend friend will talk you what things happened and we don´t know in oversea first time.

I have a travel in East Taiwan, there have high mountain and good view that use me think about environment and recycle.If we haven´t recycle garbage, we would destroy that good view in East Taiwan.

說明:略涉及主題,但發展不全。雖嘗試用起承轉合詞,但因組織混亂導致文章前後不連貫。因文法、拼字錯誤過多,嚴重影響文意之表達。字數不足,另扣一分。

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 指考編號8:劣-4

Travel Is The Best Teacher

  Travel can see a lot of country and study different educated.Some country have historic site, some country have the religion, and some country have the technology etc.

說明:略提主題,但完全沒有發展,幾無內容可言。文章過短僅二句,無法判斷英文作文的能力。字數不足,另扣一分。

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 指考編號9:劣-0

Travel Is The Best Teacher

What tain make me the benefit?It is let me learn more and more folklore, and look the different view in this butiful word.

In my virgin tain.This is the summer vecation in the Japen, Japen are very confrotable, In the every where, You are improstable to find any grabeby.

In fact.I wish go to Japen again, If I can go to Japen in the November to see the rain, I just keep butiful mood in the

說明:文不對題。

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  • TC
  • Interesting Models

    Yuki,

    Nice of you of posting some writing models here. Can't help but notice the top two rated writings do NOT really reflect the rubrics established for such exams. From essay writing's point of view, the resaosns and their support of both writings are weak or irrelevant and conclusions are how should I put it...Chinese style? Are essay forms not what the test raters are after when rating students' writing?

    What do you think?

    TC
  • These writing models with rated scores are provided by the JCEE committee. That is, the top two writings really got high scores on the writing exam from the raters, the professors. It turned out that many raters admitted they could only give scores according to whether the students could express their ideas by using correct grammar and wording. As for the forms or other relevant concerns, most of the time they are ignored.

    urWriting 於 2010/05/20 08:16 回覆